Well, no whine today, yay! we are now back on track, pending the next Migraine or family or financial disaster! Lol!

So today, woke up after another broken night, checked the bank, oh look! stuff has been moving around. let's just say if money hadn't gone in a few days early, I'd have been in a complete state of collapse today! Let's just say that with care I think I can get straight this month, I hope I really really hope I can!

Ok. so. Got up, showered, dressed, talked to Nanna on skype, had breakfast, fed and changed the babies, gosh, Davey scared me to death, he needed a battery change, and I didn't have the screwdriver I needed. What I do have is an obliging and dear elderly neighbour, who gave me a lend. He tapped on the door, offering to help me with whater I needed, um, screwing! I'd actually finished rendering first aid to Davey by that time, so he popped in to say Hi to Charles, those two are friends anyway, and see the cause of the trouble! Most impressed with the babes he was, like everyone who comes in here.

Well, not much else really, more skype, more nerdling. Ate a good dinner, but had a bit of trouble with feeling icky afterwards, so stayed away from the computer for a while watching Star trek. Now preparing for bed. Yay for good friends, good people who love me, and a good day for a change! As Fleurette would say, Yippee'ee'ee'ee'ee!

About as good a title as any! It's the only way I can think of to describe the last thre days without going into blue language!

Let's see, last you heard, Davey had arrived, yuh? Well, that day was Migraine, face ache, blah in the extreme, yesterday was worse! I managed to get to the sofa, cos it's easier for Charles to look after me from there. Also I prefer using my big computer, even though I could use the netbook from bed.

Once on the sofa, I had to lay flat all day, as I was limp as a ragdoll. My hands had also decided to go on strike, which meant everything had to be done for me. Ever wondered what it was like to be a baby? I found out yesterday. Thank God for my gentle doctor, but it's still distressing when I can't do things for myself, I get very frustrated.

Well, I managed to get some good out of the day, had some nice skype calls, but I think I rather over taxed myself, I ended the evening with a bad bad fainting attack, in fact after a certain point I don't remember anything, the whole thing turns into a surreal dream in which Lyndi turned into a real baby, who I had to quieten. I could hear this awful wailing, and just wanted to make it stop, cos it was making my head pound. Think the wailing might have been me. Don't remember getting to bed, but must have done, cos that's where I woke up.

Today has been better on the whole. the rag doll was still in posession this morning, but I've got stronger as the day's gone on, and I can sit up now and walk again, though I still have to hold on to something. I think I'll be back to normal tomorrow. Sheesh, I wish my freakin chair would hurry the freak up and get here, I could have done with it! Charles had to hold me on the puter chair it was a riot!

Three things, no four things have been of great comfort to me. In no particular order, they are: blindwriter4god her restful presence on Skype, my friends on MSN, and on skype too come to that, my dear gentle doctor, and of course my babies, goodness knows what I'd have done without them, though poor Lyndi, who's the closest to the sofa, has nearly been squoze flat.

Well, that's about it. My face is still sore, I must take some painkillers and go to sleep! Huge huge huggies to all my friends, wherever you are in the world, a belated happy birthday to dgl1984 and thanks to everyone for the nice comments on my last entry Special care bear huggies to those sick or feeling sad. Night night all!!

Hi everyone. The subject header is a line from a lullabye in the movie Lady and the tramp, and I thought of it as soon as I held the new arrival that came today. He has been one of the few good things in an otherwise very blah day indeed. I woke up with raging face ache, and a Migraine. I knew I couldn't just go back to sleep and abdicate, because I was expecting a parcel. So, Charles got me into a robe and on to my chair and we made it to the sofa. It really was one of the absolute worst days, and having Skype up and Nanna around made up for the nastiness of having to be finger fed breakfast. Ug! Well, I did some talking on MSN today, I've been very unsociable, and will try to do better, and for the rest of the time chatted to Nanna, and drifted in and out of consciousness. before too long there was a buzz on the door phone, and wham! One more baby to love. David Charles is very different to my other babies, he's long and slim rather than big and chubby, still weighted, soft and very real to hold. His skin is so soft, he has the cutest little face, bright ginger hair, the softest, finest, fluffiest hair I've ever felt, blue eyes, and this is the neat thing, he breathes. The slightest motion will activate the almost silent mechanism inside him, and his chest and arms will gently move, no unrealistic breath sound like in toy baby dolls, but when I hold him next to me, I can feel him breathing. As the day wore on I felt worse and worse, so I called Mum and she called in to the store on her way home from a party and bought some soup for me, which she dropped by to bring me. She also got a look at Davey, and he's as gorgeous as I thought he was. She also called Charles to tell him I don't look well and need to see a doctor or someone. This was later, while I was being helped to eat soup. Before I ate the soup Nanna, Charles and I did a massive baby feeding session. It's great times having Nanna feeding her Sarah-Maria on Skype while we feed our tribe! So true about a pleasure shared is a pleasure doubled. Aren't we all a bit old for playing these games? Um, next question? it's not hurting anyone, and making us all happy, so people can think I'm weird if they want. Actually, I was talking to the lady I bought Tiffy, Lyndi and Davey from, she said she knew people who had nurseries for their babies. When I win the lottery, I guess I'll have one too! Lol! Anyway, I'm just curled up on the sofa now typing with my keyboard on my stomach, and my little soft fluffy sleeper cradled on my left shoulder. The baby tally is now complete, apart from one more, which we may be getting at Christmas, maybe not, depending on whether we need all we've saved for airfare or whether there's enough for Christmas presents. Anyway, in the end, when we're all living in one place, there will be, one day, three boys and three girls. Well, I need to go back to sleep now, feeling very woozy. It's quiet as can be on FP and twitter! Huge hugs to all my friends, especially to anyone sick or feeling sad. take care, all.

Ok, I put in that subject head, because this entry is going to treat with dolls, and other such things, so anyone not interested skip now.

Woke up this morning, and as soon as my eyes opened, knew it was going to be a good day. I have few enough of those, so knew I had to grab it while I could. I needed to get up and talk to Nanna for a start, cos she was going out into the centre of Stockholm, to a store she didn't know, to buy the first in her baby collection today, and was all nervous and excited about it. So I jumped up, and leaving Charles fast asleep, got straight on Skype.

Well, after about an hour or so, I texted Mum to see if she could go out shopping, and, after a little juggling, she could. So I jumped into a shower, made some breakfast for charles, and was ready to dash out the door when she and Geoff turned up. We went to Holand and Barrett, that's a health food shop, for my American readers, that sells popping corn, one of the few places you can get it in this town! it also sells a yummelicious sesame seed and honey candy called Halva which I particularly want Charles to try. Anyway, I got everything I wanted there, well, except they had no elderflower cordial, but you can't have everything. Then we went to Mothercare, which is a shop that sells everything for babies.

Now, my Mum maddens me to screaming, swearing, blue rage at times, and you all know it. But I also love her to the ends of the earth for uncountable reasons, and this is one of them. She spent half an hour, probably more, picking out the best and cheapest baby clothes for me, so that, although I dropped a good sized chunk of dosh there, it wasn't a really horendously huge chunk of dosh. Not one word about the daftness of buying clothes, shoes and other accessories for collectable babies, she sollemnly helped me pick out the best stuff. I got shoes for Lyndi, and two outfits, and also two outfits for the two newbies Nanna's expecting.

Well, once all the shopping was done, we popped into my favourite cafe for a cuppa and a cake. Once nicely settled, teacups and eclairs in hand, I decide to call Charles, just to make sure he and Geoff are ok. And what do you think? He tells me that the parcel for blindwriter4god or Nanna, has turned up at last! Talk about timing. Now we can open the box, pop in the clothes, write the labels and get it posted today.

So that's what we did. I also popped out to the grocery this afternoon and got some food, and when I got back, Nanna was home from the store with her first New arrival, and we had a lovely time getting things set up with her. Later Charles and I went out to our favourite pub, it's got a Welsh name I'm not even going to try spelling, for a bite to eat. We had a lovely meal, which was marred for me by the fact of my jaw deciding to start aching again. It's still aching like hell! I've taken some meds, so now time to grab a hotwater bottle and a baby, and cuddle up somewhere comfortable.

Lots of stuff to look forward to, Kay coming down to stay soon, Nanna's parcel arriving, more skypage and msn with good friends, everything feels good today. Big hugs to all my friends, wherever you are in the world, especially to anyone sick in body or at heart. Night night all.

Hi. Well, today started rather late. The meds I take make me always sleep in rather late. I woke up, had some coffee while talking on Skype with blindwriter4god and then dashed off for my two-thirty dental appointment. I was only meant to have a check-up, but she took one look at one of my teeth, and said, that needs to come out, like, yesterday. So she put in two shots of Novacaine, now normally, I don't go mad for these things, but I'm not a petrified jelly either. Well we waited the statutory ten minutes, she then did an experimental tug. Wouch! I nearly leapt a foot in the air. So two more shots, both of which I felt! Another rwait. Another pull, wouch! Two more shots, ten more minutes, and I'm thinking, WTF? This should not be happening. The only reason a tooth doesn't go numb is when it's infected. So in the end, my face feels like someone's socked me so hard on the jaw I'm out of it completely. So she grabs the tooth and begins to wobble it back and fore. It won't come out. She wobbles and wobbles, eventually, it comes, complete with large, and luckily still intact abscess. She said, why I wasn't in agony she doesn't know. Well, I wasn't in agony when I left home, but I sure was when I returned. The anaesthetic wore off real fast, and I felt as if I' gone fifteen rounds with Soda Popinski! Oh, that's a character from Punch out, one of the games from Nintendo Wiii. When I got back, Charles and Nanna had been peacefully playing anagrams and waiting for me, but I was very poor company, I had to fill my hot bottle and go crash till the worst of my woes were over. I felt better later in the evening, and got up, had some food and was able to get back on Skype. Played a bit on the zone, joined in a skype conference with Charles, Tal and Nanna, Wel, I should say, added Charles and Tal to the twosome that Nanna and I usually make. Now the three of us are sitting here, doing our own things, chatting desultorily, just winding the day down. I'm hoping to be able to get out tomorrow, we need some shopping too, and I want to buy shoes for Lyndi. So, I'll send you all a wave, a smile and a huge hug, and pop off now. See y'all!

Well, it's been five days. Sorry to have been away so long, but then, I ain't the only one. Quieter than a wet monday in Barnsley around here! No one's writing anything much, which, on the good side, means no drama is going down, so hooray for that!

As for me, life is ticking along in its now usual groove. Get up, call up Nanna on Skype, make breakfast, spend the day chatting, tweeting, playing games, nerdling on Klango, talking to my friends and my other half, cook some food, and go to sleep. The routine only varies when my Mum makes a flying visit over here, or when the dreaded Migraine monster puts in an appearance. It's a loveley way to spend my days.

one small annoyance, the present I ordered, the collectable baby doll for blindwriter4god, hasn't turned up yet. I rang Danbury Mint today, they said it had gone out Friday, so it should come soon. It'd better! Gurhrhrhrhr.

Well, I'm sorry this entry is so boring, but that really is all. I'm also mid migraine, in, what you may call the eye of the storm, so I'm going to get out while the getting's good. Take care, and huggies to all my friends, old and new, wherever you are in the world. Bear waves, smiles, vanishes, leaving only the smile behind!

Hi, peeps. Not much to tell here,just letting you know I'm still breathing. In fact, today has been a good one. Slept like a rock last night, spent most of yesterday feeling really really weird, so the sleep did me good! Got up rather late, and got straight on skype with blindwriter4god and the call has just stayed up. We've played games, chatted, she's been around while I've fed the girls, I just can't wait till her baby gets here, then I can parcel it and send it and soon we'll be sharing the feeding and love times. Weird? Well, you may think so if you like, but it's harmless, and it gives us a lot of pleasure.

I made a hot chicken dinner, which was nice to eat, but yikes, it roasted me when I'd finished it. had an orange ice lolly, or popsacle, to cool off, and now I'm here, just nerdling, playing games and trying to keep cool. I was supposed to be going out with Mum tomorrow, but she's cried off, says it's too hot for her. If I'm ok, I'm going on my own.

Anyway, that's about all for now. Take care, y'all, stay in the shade!.

• 00:09 Had an awesome day, though still feeling groggy. Just thanking God for friends and people who love me. #
• 00:09 @Liamerven Hope you feel better soon. Flu sucks! #
• 00:10 Ok, I'm off to bed, suddenly feeling shattered! #
• 11:21 @Liamerven Aw Liam. Hugs for you. Hope you feel better soon. #
• 11:23 @steveofmaine Oh no! oh no oh no! I so sorry! #
• 11:26 Morning, tweeps. Got a head ache. Got to go shopping though! #
• 11:52 @kayckles Well I like it! It's cute! #
• 15:45 woke up again after enforcee sleep. Stil fell like hell, have to go out but fraid of fainting. #
• 15:56 @kayckles Have to get money topay Sarah. Or would stay in! #
• 19:10 @littlesteph2004 I've thought about trying that, but Superliam wouldn't play properly on my puter, so I haven't bothered with judgement day. #
• 19:11 Just spent a scary amount of dosh on food! Have to give up eating, I can see. #
• 19:11 Just had an ice cream soda, and some hot hot spicy chicken. #
• 20:42 @K_whawell Sonus! Me want me want me want! #
• 20:42 @themusicman08 Oooo how cool is that! #
• 20:46 @kayckles Big huggles. Kris is now on Twitter! Yay, and about time! #
• 20:51 Just helped set @K_whawell up on Twitter and Mctwit. Yay for a tweeting Kris! #
• 21:13 @kayckles I did already. #
• 21:18 Ignore my last two tweets, people! Mctwit just chucked up a bunch of oldies again, and I'm too zonked to remember I answered them already1 #
• 21:18 @robdz Don't worry. Mctiwt upchucked, and I'm too zonked to remember. God, I'm out of it today. #
• 21:51 @steveofmaine Sorry, Mctwit upchucked, and I'm too zonked to remember. It was the last anouncement, the one days ago. #
• 22:00 On Skype with Tal, just had an orange Popsicle or ice lolly, whichever side of the pond you come from! #
• 22:14 Well, can't game anymore tonight seemingly. Just got pecked six times, for a score of 60. My average is about 120. Wouch! #
• 22:24 Going to lie down. Laters, y'all! #

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Hey! Right now I'm tired, but my brain is clicking and whirring, and I can't think of sleep. Been to bed once, and got up to make popcorn, as I was hungry. I'm still hungry, come to that!

So, today, woke up feeling weird, knew it was going to be a bad one. I've done some skyping with Nana, also spent a lot of time on the net, looking for something as a present for someone very special. Have three possible ideas, but not sure which way to go yet. Took a header on to the floor this evening, bring on my wheelchair for days like this.

Well, that's about all I have to report. See you tomorrow, just hope I can get some rest. Night night!

Ok, I'll be honest. I wasn't a big fan of Michael Jackkson. I never owned one of his albums and I don't have one single song on my puter right now. But... I felt punched in the gut when the news was confirmed that he was dead of a heart attack at fifty. Part of my childhood is gone forever, and it makes you feel, well, mortal, I guess.

I so remember that shril squeaky voice when I was a kid! You couldn't turn on the freakin radio in the seventies without hearing him warbling something or other. Funny, I remember the tunes vividly, no titles are coming, except Ben, which I have to say I rather like to this day, even if it was written for a rat!

He kind of faded from my consciousness for a while, he was just there, there was pop music, and there was him, his voice was a bit deeper, not much, for me a kind of mixture of spitting, the way he'd clip out those words you could sometimes hardly hear, warbling and hiccupping. He faded in again around the time of Thriller. I remember developing a shortlived and violent crush on him, don't ask me why, I was staying with fleurette67 in france, and as she is definitely not enamoured, she was quite disgusted with me! Lol! I also caught up again on hearing "bad"> and thinking, hey, that's not half bad!

So he got older, he got weirder, or so it seemed to me, I don't believe the child molestation stories. I don't think he molested anyone! He seemed, when I read about him anywhere, to have become a mixture of a monster, a sad git and a joke. And now he's gone. I know my view may sound jaundiced, I don't hold with elevating someone to Sainthood as soon as they die. Neither do I think there was any harm in him. Like so many people say, he had a desperately hard childhood, and he never grew up, rather like someone sitting here, typing on a keyboard at this moment. I have my own weirdnesses, so shouldn't and can't go holding candles to his.

I just feel now he's gone, so sad that a big part of the fabric of my childhood and life has gone with him. Michael, I won't say as I've read places and places, we all love you. I will say, thank you for some good songs, some great memories, and I really hope that whatever else is happening, you are resting in peace, you deserve that much!

Well, today was long and anxious to start, and ended happily. After my earlier entry, we went on in conference. After a while, it ended up just being us and Nana. As time went on, I got more and more anxious, and by late afternoon had convinced myself my parcel would never arrive!

And then came the welcome buzz at the door, and Lyndeesha Helena Wells arrived at four O'clock, almost to the second!

I know everyone will be bored if I say too much, probably said enough already, so I'll suffice it to say she's utterly gorgeous, I'm crazy about her. Nana and Christer were right here with me on Skype, which they wanted to be, when I opened everything up, and we had a lovely time.

Well, once I got everything straight, I had to wait for my Mum to come. She didn't come until half past six, probably later, having had a very tough day herself. She brought some shirts and sneakers I'd ordered for Charles. Anyway, by the time everything got sorted it was far too late to cook, and I really couldn't face anymore take out, so I thought to heck! We'll go out! So we did, we drove to a little village just outside Caerphilly, and to a lovely place I'd been with my family, and had a delicious meal, and I had a glass of wine.

And now we're back. It's warm and muggy tonight, very stuffy, I can hardly breathe. Feeling very full and at peace with the world. So now I'm off to do something quiet before going to sleep. Nighty night, y'all!

Well hi! At the moment I'm in a lovely skype conference with thespyde fleurette67 and blindwriter4god and it rocks. We're all just reading our friends page or posting, chatting, playing games, doing our own stuff, it is so good! And it's one way of distracting myself from the fact that my new baby is due to arrive today, and I. want. her! now!

Yesterday was a terrible day, we thought the netbook was broken, and then went to Mum's for lunch, and she was at her loudest and most annoying. She gave us a lovely lunch though. When I got back I was just zonked out with Migraine! I had a decentish night though, woke up early, thought of the new arrival coming today,and couldn't get back to sleep, so jumped up, saw Nana online, called her, and that's where I've been ever since!


So that's all for now, I'll probably update you later, when she gets here. I'm always paranoid about parcels, since Janey mark one got lost, and then the chair Rob bought me for Christmas just plum didn't turn up, even though the delivery note did. Nothing better happen to this one! See y'all laters.

Hi. You're looking at one shaking bear. I've had the migraine from hell all day, it's still thrumming softly in my head, but I'm slept out, so got up to try and do some stuff, and... well, let's start at the beginning, shall we?

Woke up at about ten to ten this morning, Got up checked mail and tweets, and then started to feel fuzzy. Charles wasn't awake, so went back, lay down, and the next thing, wham! blinding pain, loss of speech, el yukko! The rest of the day's a big blur really, I remember Sarah coming, and getting the money out of my purse to pay her, and thinking I wished she wouldn't talk so damn loud, but apart from that... Well, I woke up properly late in the evening, came in here, and was looking at websites. I want to see if I can buy a few more clothes for the girls while we're here, they hardly have anything. I was nerdling about on Google, and wherever else it took me, when suddenly I got an alert that I E had detected what maybe malicious software which may steal my private info. I had to ok downloading some kind of tool or fix, you know, when you hear something like that, your brain freezes, and I didn't hear the whole speech, and couldn't make it read again, so I pressed ok, at which time the page closed, and I heard no more. I then did a manual scan of Nod, plus every other anti-spyware program I have, all found nothing, so here's hoping. I decided to look at windows updates, to see if that thing had been downloaded, and on checking, was asked to download and install Internet Explorer eight. Now, if I'd been thinking clearly, I would have thought hey, wait a sec, better see if it'll work with Jaws first, but I was so spooked I just went ahead. Microsoft ran another malicious software check, finding nothing I would assume, cos the install went ahead anyway, and next thing I know, I can't see anything on any page I open. It just says, page has no links, open parent document button. I try pressing the button with mouse and space bar, no dice!

Thank goodness Charles's younger brother Richard is an ace computer geek extrordinaire! Luckily he's also at home, and tells me, simply uninstall it, and it'll just roll back to 7, so that is now done. I also did manage to find somewhere I think I should be able to buy stuff for the girls, before all this blew up. So yay to that! My head still hurts, but I'm dealing with it. Still running programs to make sure Janey's clean. Luckily, I never ever shop online with a credit card, so no one could steal that kind of info from this baby, but I don't want anyone to steal anything, thanks! Ok, I's out of here. Hugs, y'all, and anyone not using Jaws 10, take my experience as a warning! Don't do like I did, and install stuff just cos microshaft says you should without checking it's going to work! See y'all!

hi y'all. Today has been a bit better. Yesterday ended badly with a wowzer of a Migraine. oo youch, was it a baddy or what? Anyway, managed to get to bed, and didn't resurface till after twelve! Still feeling punch drunk, but more or less human. Well, checked mail and tweets, and thought I felt well enough to sign into msn and catch up on a bit of chat. I had a bit of a chat with fleurette67 which was cool, but didn't see blindwriter4god anywhere, and this is where the silly thing happened. I convinced myself her puter, which she calls Whining Winnie, had gone phutt, and gave myself a panic attack, a little one, but one all the same! I don't have her home number on my phone, only her cell, and I didn't get an answer from that, and was about to find and call her, when she came back online. Whew! Relieved bear! It's all to do with the aftermath of Migraine, this daft kind of Paranoia, but knowing why it's happening doesn't make it any easier to put up with. Nana and I have grown really close, and I'd hate it big time, both for her and for me, if anything did happen to her puter! Well, once I'd got my breath back, I got a yummelicious breakfast of juice, smoothie, exotic fruit salad and toast and coffee, and we ate with Nana on skype just doing her own stuff and talking to us. I wish I had a wireless headset! But the one I have on the long cord is doing an ok job, when I put the output on the speakers if I need to move around the room. After breakfast, Charles read, nana and I played games, and we had a nice, quiet, companionable day, until dinner time. I cooked chicken with mash and gravy and sweet corn, and now I'm just here, nerdling. Charles is here, with Nettie, I'm not sure what he's doing, playing Anagrams I think. So, that's your slice of my life for today, Surprising how long I can go on when there's not much to tell! Grins! Have a great rest of the day, and I'll see you tomorrow.

Hi! Well, I woke up after eleven this morning, staggered upright, and went to get breakfast. I love to spoil Charles with a nice breakfast, he loves to eat fresh fruit, and so do I, so we had grapefruit juice, banana smoothie which I make myself, then fresh lychees, and buttered toast and coffee. Best meal of the day!

After it was all cleared up, I put on the juke, and laid my head in his lap. Next thing, my brain half woke me up, because my legs were constricted and needed to be more comfortable. So I stumbled off to bed for a nap, and didin't wake till after five. I think my meds are having something to do with the fact that on some days I can hardly stay awake.

I have now finished a big project I started, getting the whole of the seven seasons of Star Trek, the next generation, safely transferred to the puter. I've just finished the last of season seven! So yay to that! Each episode is numbered and titled, and it all lives in a nice folder of its own, so everything is so lovely and easy to find! Apart from that, nothing else going on, so I'll slouch on out of here! Snore! Oh no, she fell asleep at the keyboard! I say? ... hello? ... I say? Is. Anyone. Hearing. Me! Aaaaah to hell with it!

Well, it's been a nice evening on the whole. I fixed the sweet and sour chicken, it was good. One of the many things I love about Charles is that he thinks that to cook, and then have to help wash up is not fair. So he washed up and wiped, and cleaned the kitchen, while I flopped on the sofa feeling like Neal the heal, but he wouldn't let me help. I had my country folder open in Winamp, and it seemed to bring up either really sad ones, or ones which reminded me of stuff I'd rather not dwell on. That's When I love you, You were Just Here, Teardrops on my Guitar, Our Song, To Make Her Love Me, Size Matters, Another Day In Paradise, gosh, I heard them all before I called a halt! After that I played Rory Hoffman instead. Only good memories of kindness and friendship there, and prodigious talent too! He reads this crap sometimes, hope he sees that. There was a time back the summer before last when we talked or skype chatted most days. till my life flew off at a tangent. Sighs. As you can gather, I'm very blue. I don't know whether it was what happened earlier, or the glass of wine I had with my dinner, or what, but big, scary, unanswerable questions are looming in my head tonight, frightening me. I'm just praying really, really hard, hoping this will pass. Loving someone who lives in a country so far away is such a precarious business! You have no idea what a knife edge you walk till it happens to you. You so desperately want, need, to stay together, but the staying depends on so many things. Do I have the airfare? Have I used up my allotted allowed time out of the country? If he's coming in, does he have the fare? Can he get a Visa, where from? How? what do they need to see? Who do you ask, who knows the answers. I have this one, huge, recurring nightmare. I hear Charles's voice, he's calling me, but I can't get to him. He's behind a huge, high wall. It's wide as all wide, high as all high, keeping him in and me out, and it won't give way, no matter how we beg and plead and pray. We just have to talk to each other from behind the wall. I pray every day to God in heaven that the dream doesn't end up coming true. Well, that's really enough, sorry for this very down entry, I'll try and write again when I feel better about everything. I'm just going to make the most of every day we have together, that's what I tell myself, anyway. Which is why I spend half my time sick, and more worrying about stuff, right? Oh, enough. I'm off to bed. Night night all, and big hugs.

Hi folkies. Well, thre days, and no word. No tweets either. But I'm alive and just about functioning at the mo. Tuesday was my best day this week. spent most of it on Skype with blindwriter4god and Christer. Charles and I are so comfortable around them, spending lots of time together is awesome. Then the migraine struck again, and for the last two days I've been feeling very sorry for myself. robdz sent me some excellent reading matter, yay to that, thanks so much! I've also had a lot of fun playing the new L-works games. I spent a good bit of yesterday with Nana, glad to help chase the Buggaboos away, she helped me so much in the past, still does when things go wrong, like in the middle of the other night. Not much else to report really. Just enjoying my Twitter, no more horible porn since I protected my updates. Just everyone and his wife twittering about Apple products! That gets a bit wearing at times but hey! Can't be worse than my Migraine maunderings! I can hear C softly snoring in the other room, a peaceful sound. Think I'll try for more sleep myself soon. Take care, y'all, huge huggies.

Hi everyone. I've woken up in a blind panic in the middle of the night again, dammit, this is not good! Yesterday was a truly awful day.

I guess the big news for all you who are annoyed by tweets on the Lj page is that there'll be no more from me as of now. I've had to protect my updates, because of getting followed by lots of unsavoury porn accounts. I would go in there to look eachday, and find excuse the language here, it's not mine, something such and such britney fucked vids, or your horny kitty, or something else equally gruesome, no Email notification from Twitter either to say I was being followed. Also, accounts I'd blocked would mysteriously reappear. Well, I went through my list of followers, zapped anyone I didn't know personally, which cuts my list down to 28 friends. That's enough to be going on with. Of course, I'll follow anyone if I know them, or know someone they know, but I've got to tighten this thing up. Anyway, one of the side effects is, loud twitter can't see my updates anymore, so you can all breathe sighs of relief.

I've been feeling gruesome today, head still bad, legs still wobbly. I was having a quiet day, just waiting it out. Suddenly got a call from my travel agent. "Your flight's been cancelled." They don't know what's happened to Charles's as he's booked through a different, and American agency, mine has been rescheduled for the next day. So I have to make about three international calls, and send several Emails, to get things sorted. The airline have now graciously permitted us to fly on the same day, thank you very much, you total bilge heads, actually it was my travel agent who started the trouble, and thanks for a horible afternoon!

Well, I had to go to bed early. Dreamt of ringing phones, and ringing skype, I kept pressing the answer keys, and trying to find the phone, but couldn't. Woke up in a blind panic, and here I am. this isn't good. Trying to hold it together and not wake Charles.

Anyway. That seems to be all for now. Hugs.

• 23:23 @alexthynne Don't we all, Alex! I never understood what it did! Lol! #
• 23:23 just played a nice couple of games of Yahtzi. I much prefer it to Klango's dice poker! #
• 23:36 Ok, going to watch some Star trek. Back laters. #
• 02:52 @toonhead Gosh, excuse me for earwigging, I've just had the opposite experience. Got so mad with W E I ditched it! Now use jaws. Lol! #
• 02:55 @rdfreak much better today thanks. What's a jeap, how can you drive one not being able to see? don't get it! Dumb me! #
• 02:57 @toonhead You got that right! Grin! #
• 02:58 I just captured a chocolate orange. #foodmaster. #
• 02:59 Just discovered some of my star trek dvds won't play. Total frand-wangle, nargles and ninnyhammers! And peh! #
• 03:04 @toonhead My other half's younger bro works for Serotek, I've tried SA to go, it's good! #
• 03:06 My sense of taste is on strike tonight. Can't taste the chocolate orange i was looking forward to.makes me so sad. #
• 03:09 it's ironic that I who love to cook and eat am struck by this thing that is sapping my ability to smell and taste. #
• 04:12 I'm off to bed. Night night, Tweeties! Tweet dreams! Heeheehee! #
• 10:29 @minnaiya yes, they're delicious! #
• 10:29 @rdfreak Hear freakin hear! This really realy bugs the hell out of me! #
• 10:34 Morning, Tweeps. Hope everyone's doingok. Woke up very stuffed up again. Growl, not a good start. Ah well. #
• 13:04 Afternoon tweeps, the bear is once more awake! Now for a lovely fresh fruity brunch. #
• 14:56 Not feeling well. Curled up on the sofa, listening to Star Trek, an hoping my head won't explode. Yuk! #
• 15:25 This is one of those days I'm so glad someone is with me. Wobble, lurch, stagger! yuk! #
• 15:25 @minnaiya Hugs for you, goosey. Big ones. #
• 15:25 @kaydear hugs for you, kitten. #
• 17:30 I just succeeded in making a new personal best at super egg hunt. 179 #trymaster. #
• 17:35 Why is it, a porn account I blocked yesterday is back, no Email notification! I. do. not. like. this! #
• 17:57 @minnaiya Awful bad! peh! Can't breathe and my head is splitting. Having to play everything on super low volume. #
• 18:11 Sendspace won't let me upgrade to Max, won't let me download anymore, peh. on. it! #
• 18:16 And, tech support Email I sent, like they told me to, has just been returned! Fixing to throw things! Peh peh double damn peh! #
• 19:43 I just assassinated about ten cookies. #pigmaster! #
• 20:05 Feeling truly awful. C playing piano softly tunes reminding me of Monroe. Going back to bed for a while, see if I can shake this head! #

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Hi. Ok, fifty points if you can name the book that quote comes from. I'll give you a clue, it's Stephen King. Ok, today has been improved. I woke up in the night with a panic attack, as I think I wrote. Went back to bed, went back to sleep. Woke up about nine, bed felt so nice and warm, so slept some more. It was after one before I was properly awake! I got up and dressed, and came in to check mail and tweets. Saw Alex, one time husband, still friend, was having trouble learning McTwit, so decided to give him a hand. Checked of course first, but knew it would be ok. Charles was born without possessiveness or jealousy, I think. Doesn't mean I'll be taking his goodness for granted any time soon, but it's good to be able to have the friends I want.

Well, i never forget telephone numbers I once had, so I gave Al a call, it's a year since we spoke. After a little talk, I added him to Skype, and helped him get his McTwit sorted. He has a new girlfriend, yay in a box!

Well, eventually I got out shopping and dropped a load of dosh! My goodness, what piles and piles of stuff I had, but still managed to come back without milk! I put it on the list, they just didn't get it is all! peh! When I got back, Charles and nana were on Skype, and playing Anagrams, while I put away the shopping. Then I cooked a chicken dinner, hot chicken in rich gravy, with creamy buttery mash and sweetcorn for Charles, I don't like it myself so didn't have that. But the dinner was lovely.

After that, played some games, fed the girls, and watched some Star Trek. It's late. Soon be off to bed. Feeling heaps better today. So huge hugs to all my friends. Night night, y'all!